English
The arrival of a third child in the family dramatically changes the dynamics of relations between the children. Parents have to balance attention to the eldest, care for the youngest and maintaining a healthy atmosphere in the home. How to build harmonious relationships between three children of different ages?
Features of a family with three children
1. Natural hierarchy
A clear division is formed: the eldest, middle and youngest child. Each occupies its own niche, which can lead to both co-operation and rivalry.
2. Role reversal
The middle child often finds himself in a difficult position: he is no longer the ‘baby’ but does not yet have the authority of the eldest. This can cause jealousy or attempts to get attention.
3. Different needs
The eldest needs independence, the middle – recognition, the youngest – constant care. To satisfy all needs at the same time is the main task of parents.
Typical problems and solutions
✔ Competition for attention
– Allocate time for each child individually
– Emphasise each child’s uniqueness (‘You’re the best at maths’, ‘You’re good at comforting the baby’).
✔ Conflicts between older and younger children
– Don’t make the older person ‘babysit’ without their willingness to do so
– Teach the younger child to respect the space of the older child
✔ Resentment of the middle child
– Give him important tasks more often
– Avoid comparisons with brothers/sisters
Rules for harmonious relationships
1. Fairness, not equality
Distribute resources according to need, not equally. A teenager may need new trainers and a toddler may need more parenting time.
2 Shared traditions
Shared dinners, family games, or “memory night” strengthen the bond between children.
3. Personal space
Everyone should have a place to retreat to. This is especially important when living space is limited.
4. Team spirit
Emphasise that you are a team. Encourage mutual help, but do not force friendship.
Role of parents
The main task is to be the “arbiter”, not the judge:
– Don’t automatically take sides
– Teach children to negotiate on their own
– Set an example of respectful communication
Remember: there is no such thing as a perfect relationship. Conflicts between three children are a normal process of socialization. Your task is not to eliminate all disagreements, but to teach your children to solve them constructively.
